Don’t Want To Go Into A Care Home? There Is An Alternative


Care homes are not the only option if you need elderly care. Find out about the alternative to care homes and how it could benefit you.

Care homes or nursing homes were thought of as the only care option for later life for a long time. Needing care in old age meant either getting cared for by your family or going into a care home. Yet the vast majority of people do not want to go into a care home if they become unable to care for themselves. So there has to be a better alternative to forcing those who need care into a residential home they do not want to be in.

Fortunately there is an alternative, a rather fantastic one actually: live-in care.

Find out more in our article “What Is Live-in Care?

Live-in care is a care home alternative where a person remains in their family home with their partner, pets and near their neighbours and community and receives the care they need. They get to stay in the familiar environment of their home surrounded by the photographs, ornaments and treasured possessions they love. They get to stroke their pets everyday, and see their partner everyday. Even small details like greeting the postman who they have known for years matter a lot. Live-in care ensures none of that gets taken away in later life.

How Does It Work?

Firstly the person needing the in-home care must have an assessment to check the type of care they need. They can then have a good idea of how much live-in care will cost for them.

In many cases the costs are not only comparable but favourable compared to care home fees. Once everyone involved is comfortable with the details, a specially matched carer will come to live in the client’s home.

In most cases the match works, that said on occasions personalities might not settle as expected and a carer or client would never be forced to remain in a situation they are unhappy with. Quite often a change can resolve this as the provider and family work together to understand what is important to ensure success.

The details of the carers expected responsibilities are clearly outlined before the job commences. Live-in carers can be asked to do all manner of jobs including:

  • Picking up prescriptions
  • Taking the client shopping
  • Taking the client on personal errands to see friends or family
  • Accompanying the client to the cinema or to a restaurant
  • Cleaning the home
  • Caring for pets
  • Watching TV programmes with the client
  • Cooking meals and snacks for the client
  • Providing personal care like helping the client wash and get dressed
  • Administering medicine

Some clients may need special care in which case a carer with that experience will be sought. In all instances the care provided is much more personal, applied, considered and round the clock compared to the care supplied in a care home. Importantly, its one to one and delivered around the clients wishes.

If you are in a position where you need to consider your long term care needs, it is important to consider both care homes and in-home care as possibilities for your future. Your later life can be fulfilling and you can retain your independence, but you do have to put some research and planning in to make that happen.

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17 Comments. Leave new

  • This is a really good read. My parents were able to stay in their own home until the very end of their lives due to having live-in carers. One of Mum’s carers was even sitting by her bedside when she passed away.

  • Most definitely a better option than causing so much disruption via a move which noone should have to do when the get older.

  • I believe that live in care is a better option. Cheaper too in my experience.

  • This is definitely the preferred option for my parents and much cheaper than paying a care home for two

  • Too right! my mother went to a care home for respite care and hated it

    • My mother was also paying a great deal more than the cost of live in care…….If only I had known of this alternative

  • Very informative. It really is a great alternative and has so many positive benefits.

  • Really interesting points – very thought-provoking!

  • Another great article. My father went for respite for a short time in a care home and was not at all impressed and couldn’t wait to come back home to everything familiar to him

  • […] Don’t want to go into a care home? There is an Alternative… […]

  • Janet Rosalind Ellis
    February 6, 2021 7:13 pm

    My mother only has me – her daughter – who lives three hundred miles away. She has carers who come in four time a day. I believe it takes two doctors’ signatures to force her into a home. That has not happened, I suspect because her doctors think she is safe the way she is. I have Full and Lasting Power of Attorney regarding her finances and health and social welfare.. He has an alarm which she is pushing all the time. A Social Worker came into her home without my permission – everyone seems to know the code on her key box outside the house – and told her she is to be put into a because she is taking ambulances away from Covid19 patients whose need is greater. Her neighbour says very few paramedics respond to her, and some do not even leave the ambulance and enter her home. She has lived there all her life – if she is put in a home I will never be able to see her again – she is 95, bedridden and has dementia, Nevertheless, she has promised never to press her alarm again – her neighbour has painted a large sign telling her not to. Unfortunately her phone will not taking incoming calls, but she has rung me promising not to press her alarm again – I suspect the social worker who came into her house without permission probably scared the life out of her. She would be miserable taken away from home and it would probably kill her. The social worker rang me and said I had to sell her house to pay for the care.. Her care is adequate now and when this lockdown stops I will visit her and, if necessary stay for a prolonged period. I do not want to sell her (and because of the POAs now my) house and have the proceeds taken away by a home. That house is my inheritance and my mother wants me to have it,. Without the signature of two doctors, can Social Services force my mother into a home, and can they forced me to sell her house and make me give them the proceeds? I am going out of my mind with worry about this, and need some advice to reassure me that, without doctors’ signatures, my mother can have her wish and live in her house for good. I would have her in my house, if an ambulance would bring her but Southwark Services say cannot look after her because am disabled. Actually I could get the same amount of care with me because believe I would be able to get a carer’s allowance (I am also a pensioner) to pay to look after her if she lived with me. She doesn’t actually want to live with me because she doesn’t want to leave her home., I really need to know whether Social Services can take her away and make me sell her house. It is imperative that they cannot, especially if she is no longer pressing her alarm.

    • Mike Collinson
      May 16, 2021 5:18 am

      Dear Janet
      I agree with your comments and concerns 100%. I am a 76 year old guy, who happens to be in very good general health.
      However, when I have worked for 60 years and am then told that I’ll have to sell my home to pay for a profit-making Care Home, the absurdity of that is mind-blowing! It is immoral, indecent and obscene that I may have to tell my two kids (both in their 40’s) that they can say goodbye to the inheritance that I worked all my life to give them, so that I can move into a Care Home, perhaps next to someone who has NEVER worked all of his life (by choice!), has smoked and drank heavily all of his life, and HE GETS HIS CARE FOR FREE???
      NO, NO a thousand times NO!
      Either we all pay, or we all get care for free!! What sort of a Democracy do we live in? And Governments of all colours are every bit as disgraceful as each other!!
      I am beside myself with worry that this is how my future will turn out: giving up everything I’ve worked for to live in a Care Home run for profit!!
      I’d rather end my own life…….

  • My mother went in a home which has been a nightmare due to restrictions. She has always said that she does not want to go in a home. I do not have PoA and my siblings did but one has stepped down and the other as far as I am aware has property and finance but they both have let her down. She went into a home which the Manager would not communicate with me when she found out I was not PoA. I did realise the nightmare which was about to unfold. Please can someone get in contact with me as I need advice.

  • I am being forced to live in a home for dementia patients when I have been diagnosed with cancer and already live in my own disabled converted home.

  • I work as a live in carer and love my job. I have a great relationship with my lady and we have a lot in common and share a similar sense of humour and outlook. I know how she likes her toast, which of her neighbours she finds irritating, how she likes to be assisted in the shower and countless other things. If I worked in a care home, I could not possibly have that kind of relationship with all the people. More importantly, I have time to care for her with friendship, dignity and respect and am not rushing around trying to meet efficiency targets for greedy care home bosses.

  • Barbara Staines
    October 23, 2023 11:57 am

    My mum has mixed dementia and I am her live in carer. My sisters are trying to force her to go into a care home against her wishes. 2 of my sisters have Power of Attorney for Heath and finance can they force mum to go into care. My dad is 83 and has COPD he doesn’t want to go into care and he has said if mum goes into care he will end his own life I’ve been catering for my parents 2 years now with cert little support and constant criticism from my siblings. What are mum’s rights?



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